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i'm so alone...after such a LONG time.
11.27.04 (9:11 pm)   [edit]

I'm all alone in this house. My bf barely left a while ago, and now my brother, sisters, and parents aren't home. Isn't life perfect? of course it isn't. I'm just happy being alone after not being alone in a long time.

 
hmmmm....
11.19.04 (9:39 pm)   [edit]

Our 11th month and i'm stuck at home doing nothing. I was planning to go to Santa Monica with Saul today but some things got in the way like me staying home just to babysit my little sisters at home while my mom goes take my little sister to the dentist and while she also goes to the laundry. Seriously, it felt like a long ass day just watching shitty disney movies. I couldn't even believe how fucking boring my little sisters are. They watched Sleeping Beauty 2 times, Monsters Inc. once, then Ice Age 2 more times. Shit....I need a fucking life out of my house. I missed a perfectly good amount of time that I could've used to my advantage, but no, my mom wanted me to stay. Now I could go out tomorrow and Sunday.. I'm bored, tired, hungry and sleepy. Please send some food to donate to:


My mind
3426 who knows what street it fucking is Blvd.
my secret lab, somewhere, 165489432187897434


That's my new address. I'm bored.
I love you Saul, but you know, it could've been better if I were with you.

 
"I'm just a pretty boy, living in this fucked up world..."
11.19.04 (9:24 pm)   [edit]
I SAW KORN 2 DAYS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
What more is there to say about that? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHH!!!!!! <~~scream of excitement
just one problem...I was on the first row...right behind the pit!!!! I wanted to be in the pit. Oh well...i'm just happy. This made my year. Chevelle was there too, but they sounded gay live. They sang all of the songs from the greatest hits. I guess i'm leaving now. Bye.
 
Bushshit!!!!!!
11.03.04 (2:48 pm)   [edit]

I barely found out that Bush is still our shitty President of the fucking United States!!!!!Anyhow, I'm home bored as fuck writing this journal at home since i'm "punished" for going out without permission while my brother on the other hand is doing whatever he pleases. I'm missing my friends alot back at Dorsey since I haven't seen them in two weeks. That's a lot of time considering I dropped out 7 months ago and didn't see them for 6 months. I'll just take post some songs including one that I dedicate to Saul for being supportive as well as my friends. I'll never forget about them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Sonic Youth-Unmade Bed

[Thurston]

Look who's come back home again
Loser looking for his lucky break
This time he says he just needs a friend
Ain't on the run
He ain't on the take

Can you unlock this door babe
Will you just undo the chain
Will you take your time before you
Mix up love, his love and pain

Loneliness lays down his head
Wants to get you high, better take it now
A man like that's like an unmade bed
Stained eyes searching for another way out

Maybe you even want this
Maybe you just don't care
All I know it takes just one kiss, babe
For you - he's never there

Hey, I know it's kinda hard
And maybe this time it will never end
Hit and run lover back in your heart
Others answered prayers you should never have sent

'Cause now that you're in his arms babe
You know you're just in his way
Suckered by his fatal charm, oh girl
It's time we get away


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Oasis- Wonderwall (I dedicate this song to Saul)

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

Backbeat the word is on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I
Would like to say to you
But I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe (I said maybe)
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe (I said maybe)
You're gonna be the one that saves me (that saves me) (x3)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Love is- (A song/poem dedicated to Saul)

Love is..a feeling in my heart
Something I'd rather show the world
I feel much different than before
I hold your hand close to my heart
I feel your lips so close to mine
Adrenaline rush going through my veins
You're like my missing heart

Without you I can't live
Does anybody know what love's like
Without you I can't breathe
Please don't leave me alone

And as I say "I love you"
I stare into your eyes
And I want you
To know what I feel inside
You've changed me
In a way no one's seen me before
But I want you
Around me all the time

Staring deep into the sunset
I feel something I've never felt
Whispering in your ear
My feeelings for you are too real to fake
Reality is what I'm living
I guess actions speak louder than words
You'd never thought you'd be with me
I guess it's fate that brought us here

And as I say "I love you"
I stare into your eyes
And I want you
To know what I feel inside
You've changed me
In a way no one's seen me before
But I want you
Around me all the time

I would cry with you if you'd cry
I would stare right back at you when you do
I would kiss you back when you kiss me
I would hold you hand again
Time can only tell our fate
For I feel more than love itself
If you'd ask me, i'll say "I do"
I'd do anything for you

And as I say "I love you"
I stare into your eyes
And I want you
To know what I feel inside
You've changed me
In a way no one's seen me before
But I want you
Around me all the time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I guess that's all for today. Bye.